Saturday, January 3, 2015

What legacy will I leave

Good morning from Chattanooga TN. Yes, you read that right, Chattanooga. Let me fill you in on why I am here and then I will continue with this post...I will do a 2014 recap later but this is what's going on in my head this morning!

December 29 my family and I were driving to Plano, TX to celebrate the New Year with my sister and parents when I received the call I have known was coming for several months - my 94 yr old Grandmother had passed away - just one week shy of her 95th birthday. This was not unexpected (seriously who's is at 94) but none the less a jolt. We continued to Plano, where we hastily made plans for my parents, my sister and her family and myself to fly out to TN at the end of the week for the service, while my husband and kids went back home to Levelland. Yes, we did still have a great week with family and lots of memories...but alas, here I am now in TN and today is the day we will reflect on the life of this woman - my grandmother.

So, on to the topic of this post. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to sit with my mom and her two sisters as they met with the ministers who would be officiating the service. They shared memories of growing up and tried to summarize the life of this beautiful lady in an hour to these two men. They talked of her zeal to live on the edge by going to nursing school and joining the Navy in a time when that wasn't all that popular for women, of her adventurous spirit in meeting and marrying my Grandad in 6 weeks time, of her sewing their clothes, and working hard to give them all the things she never had in life, they talked of her tenacious attitude, and how she would reach out to the down trodden.

Towards the end however, my aunt said "You notice that you are not hearing us talk of her faith in the Lord or how she pointed us to God. She was quiet in her faith - a believer but not openly." This is true in so many levels. To be honest, as a grandchild I have often wondered if she was a believer - I now believe that she was, but just didn't know how to live it out loud.

I would love to type a post about all the wonderful fun memories I have of her - but to be honest, I don't have a ton of those. In fact, I have really struggled with this because I don't have very many good memories of her - but that is not for now. I do know that in her own way, she loved all of her family very much!

Yet, listening to this conversation amongst my Aunts and mom made me think...what would my children say about me if they were sitting with someone who didn't know me and trying to sum up my life? What do I want them to say? Would I want them to share how I willingly moved too many times to count for a life in ministry with my husband? Would I want them to remember all the grand trips I took? Or even how I loved children? Sure, those are some ok memories but I would hope that there would be so much more to it than that....

At the end of my life - I want all who know me to be able to say, she lived her faith. There is no doubt in whom she believed and who she served. She openly showed her love for Jesus, in everything she pointed to HIM who saved her. I long for my children to remember times I prayed with and for them and pointed them to Jesus.

Now - let the honesty come right here right now; this is not the case. My children have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. They see me when I come home and close the door where no one else sees...It is in THESE moments that I want my faith to be real and to show these four precious ones my love for Christ! I have been hit hard with this the past 24 hours...My children are all teens and although much time has passed - there is still time to be open with them and let them know that I long to turn this tide so that behind the closed doors of my home, they will see my faith perfected and lived out.

Maybe you too will be challenged in this area. What legacy will you leave for your family? My hope and prayer for my life is to leave a legacy of faith that points to the glory of my King!!! With that - I am off to celebrate the life of this tenacious and spirited woman I got to call Grandma for the past 40 years!!!